The first one is Truth.
The second one is Trust.
For this blog entry, they will both be capital T words because they’re that important.
Remember the age-old question, “which came first the chicken or the egg?” Does anyone actually know this answer? Does it matter? I think a better question (and much deeper) is: which comes first Truth or Trust? I think in this case, it actually does matter. I think you need Truth first for Trust to follow. Truth and Trust are important in all of your relationships, whether you’re talking aboutyour relationship with your partner, with your kids, with your friends, with your colleagues and yes, even with your boss.
I’m almost finished with a book called The Fire Starter Sessions, A Soulful + Practical Guide to Creating Success on Your Own Terms by Danielle LaPorte. But, I read something in it yesterday that has stuck with me. She talks about how “consensus can create mediocrity.” I’m paraphrasing, but her message is that when it’s time to make a decision and when it’s a decision that everyone needs to agree on, people tend to avoid things that might cause disagreement. No matter what your business is, avoiding disagreement is not good for anyone.
How many times have you been in a meeting and it’s time to make a decision and while you don’t necessarily agree with everything you stay quiet for fear of being the only one who doesn’t agree. Or, maybe you just stay quiet because these meetings are always unproductive and a colossal waste of time? Or maybe you stay quiet because at the end of the day, your opinion doesn’t matter. Or, maybe you stay quiet because you don’t care anymore. The boss is always going to do what he/she wants to do anyway. Then what happens? The decision is made and maybe there’s no significant change and/or damage. Or, maybe the program slowly starts to suffer and yet, nobody speaks up. We’ve all been there. It’s a really painful place to be. How do you change it?
Find your voice and start with Truth.
If you’re in a really bad place, you have nothing to lose. If you’re scared about someone’s reaction, try not to be. (This one is especially challenging for me!) Try and remember that your voice is important and if you starting from the place of Truth, no one can really argue that hard against Truth.
“Criticism is something we can avoid easily
by saying nothing, doing nothing,
and being nothing.
When you begin with Truth, Trust naturally follows.
(Quick book review: If you’re stuck with your work, frustrated in your job and/or life, you should read this book. The author is amazingly honest about her life, her successes, her failures and did a great job of writing it in a way that kept me completely engaged. I think anytime you talk about your feelings, your beliefs, your wants and your needs – it’s incredibly hard. It’s so very close to your soul, but really, that’s the point. The author helps you (through a series of worksheets at the end of each section) identify, name and work through what your needs are to be a happier, more productive and complete human and help you realize and understand that being your true, genuine self is not only enough, but it’s easier than trying to be someone else. “Being your true self is the most effective formula for success there is.” My personal favorite quote from this book? “The past is never as relevant as we think it is.” Powerful.)